Bottom Line

My ♥ is full

Tonight I am thankful for a million things and I would like to list them all, one by one, but instead, I will sum it up with my heart is full of love and joy and friendship and thankfulness.  :)

It's been an exciting flurry of events around here. Halloween was fun. Mia collected enough chocolate to send us all in sugar shock but that is half the fun, right? Here she is all dressed up:

 

This past weekend, she spent the weekend at Spring Hill- an awesome camp with tons to do and a focus on God. She was exhausted on Sunday when I picked her up. She is singing some funny camp songs (I asked if they sang 99 bottles of beer but that wasn't one of them.. HA!) and still talking about the adventures.
Joe and I had a very quiet weekend and while it was nice, I am happy to hear Mia's radio playing, her singing, and I don't even mind catching up on the latest ICarly on Disney. :)

This past Saturday was also designated as "National Digital Scrapbooking Day". I did do some scrapping, although not as much as I would have liked! :) I miss scrapbooking like I did a couple years ago... I could do a layout every day and for the past year and a half, I am pushing to do one every couple of weeks... gotta remedy that some how or another!

Well, enough sharing out of me for one day! Hope that your heart is full today, too!

One Year.

October 27th is the day that my Dad died... he was 51 and it was sudden and feels far too soon. It has been one whole year... 4 seasons, birthdays, a Christmas, a Thanksgiving, a million little moments.

I thought of so many things that I could write today. I could write about the past 365 days- the sadness, the brokeness, the deception, the lies that were told to me, the forgiveness, the rejoicing, the praise, the hope, the peace, the hugs, the amazing friendship, and the mourning. I could write about a million things but really, I just want to write about love.

I would be remiss if I didn't say that my dad loved all of his family... his mom, his brother's & sister's, his second wife & her family and so many friends and relatives, but I want to write about the love of a Dad & his girls.

About the love that a Dad had for his daughters. A love that was worth far more than anything tangible. A love that held my hand, that healed my boo-boo's, that kissed my forehead, that was spoken a million and one times. It was a love that had troubles but always found its way back and it was a love that was undescribable. It was a love that laughed and it laughed big. It was a love that cried- a thousand, or a million tears...at goodbye's, at hello's and at sad times and good times. It was a love that I was blessed to know for 31 years. My Dad's love for me and my sisters was something brilliant and amazing and brighter than any star on a clear night. His love was rare, and genuine and deep and true.

About the love that a daughter has for her Dad. A love that hurt when he hurt, a love that cried when he cried, a love that forgave and continues to do so. A love that was learned from a man who loved with his whole heart. A love that will never go away, never diminish and never change. A love that wanted nothing but happiness and joy. A love that loves through it all... even through death.



"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together... there is a something you must remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you" ~ Winnie the Pooh

This moves me...

I heard this song at NorthRidge Church a month or so ago and I absolutely had to find it somewhere on the web. I am in awe. And, the girl who sang it at church just as amazing and awesome as the woman in this video.

I ♥ Fall

Credits: Autumn Flea Market by SMJ!

Indeed I do! And I love this blog...even though it would appear otherwise.

Crabby Kid

Please tell me where my sweet, loving, kind and considerate daughter has gone? I am hoping it is simply the transition into a new school year and getting back into a regular schedule. Whatever it may be, it is a little difficult to deal with sometimes.

Today was a actually somewhat better. We did some singing and she did some dancing (which increased my prayers 10 fold). The crabby, whiny, pouty 'tude seems to appear when it comes time to shower, pack a lunch, read, go somewhere she doesn't want to go, when she gets bored and when her friends can't play. I guess it is a hard lesson to learn that sometimes, life just doesn't go the way you hope or plan....it is a little hard to feel bad for a 9 year old, though. :) 

I took advantage of the creative opportunity to exploit the crabbiness...
credits: Krafty Essentials,  Martha Free Kit, and Clearly Stuck.

She is cute enough that I am trying to give her some space and hope that she will be back to her happy self in a few days. :)

A mini-list of other things happening in our lives:

- Joe is playing kickball... we had a lot of fun watching!
- you can now arrive at my blog by typing in www.candylouu.com ... how awesome is that!?
- I hoping to do a Fall photo shoot for some friends and family. Excited about that!
- Things at work are a little stressful, working through that.
- I've only had 1 pop since 9.10.09. Went to the movies on Friday night and completely forgot and had that baby in my hand before I even realized what I'd ordered. Decided to splurge and not beat myself up over it.
- Speaking of movies, went to see All About Steve and my friend and I laughed SO hard! I loved it...although I am not hard to please when it comes to movies.
- Our church launched its satellite location on Sunday. It was awesome and amazing and I felt like I was a part of history...something so much bigger than myself. I was so happy my heart felt like it was going to burst! :) So many lives can be changed with love and hope. Can't wait to get involved!!

Better get some sleep... just before the clock strikes midnight... love that! :)

And we're off....

... to a great start of another school year!

Yesterday was pretty crappy out- buckets of rain were pouring from the Heavens but it didn't quite damper the excitement of the day. I am encouraged by the first encounter with Mia's teacher. She seemed so welcoming and so excited to see all the children pouring in. I had my camera glued to my eye, as usual, and she made a comment that she is like that too... made me like her even more! :)

I want Mia to be inspired, I want her to find that spark for learning and feel the excitement of a task well done. I am really praying that this is the year. She is so social and worried about her friends and chatting and what is going on around her that she rushes through her work. Thankfully, she is a pretty quick study so it really hasn't caused a lot of suffering yet but I know that she has the potential to be an excellent student....and with the cost of college, we could really use all the scholarship opportunities we can get. LOL

So, without further ado, here is my 9 year old on her first day of the 4th grade.

A little "Rock On" shout

And, in other news, tonight is my last night of being a pop drinker... I am going to call it quits, going cold turkey tomorrow! I am going to make my best effort...though it will be hard, it will be worth it.
If I am a little more crabby, start running people over with my car, or start whacking random people, please forgive me....living without yummy coke, pepsi, mountain dew or other deliriously good soda drinks can cause that in a person. :)

Labor Day Ramblings...

Happy Labor Day! :) What a great day...off work just to be off work!

Tomorrow my girl starts the 4th grade. I've been thinking a lot about it because unlike most of the years before that grade, I remember a lot about the 4th grade.

I remember my teacher very well- her voice, her hair, her acrylic red nails. I liked her a lot. If you know me, this might not sound odd but I even remember the pens and pencils she used! I so wish I could find the pen- I remember the look of it, it may have been a Faber Castell but I can't quite remember ( I would know it if I saw it). But this was the pencil:

A great pencil, I might add. :) I remember she went to Barbados once and came back with her hair in a million braids. And, after I had moved on to 5th grade, she had found a photo of me, my mom & my dad that I'd left in a book. She brought it to me and said something along the lines of knowing right away that it was me. I have fond memories of 4th grade and I am hoping that Mia will too!

Today is a gray today... it is raining on and off. If I am honest, I kinda like it. :) I don't have to feel bad for staying in my pj's until noon or spending a little too much time on Facebook. Of course, there are things to be done... so I better get a move on! Be back tomorrow with the first-day-of-school pics!

Can't sleep

Can't sleep tonight. Went to bed twice already.

It is so odd that a day can go by and be a pretty good day, even a great day but all of a sudden, thoughts of my Dad come to my mind.

The air is getting chilly (I realize that it is August... I live in MI., what can I say?) and the Halloween decorations and Fall decor are starting to appear. When I think back to that October day when I got the call about my Dad's accident, I feel quiet shock all over again. I feel the rush of grief, the sadness of missing him, the wonder and the questions and the wave of sickness. I remember my aunts voice telling me and I remember thinking how much she loved me to call me the minute that she knew something was wrong. It later made me think of when she lost her husband and I will never forget her words... I need you. I remember saying it out loud as if to make myself believe that the moment was real. I remember the cool air on my face when I went outside, I remember the look in my sisters eyes when I told her and the sound of my other sisters voice when I told her.  I remember my boss and how she took care of me and offered comfort and support. I remember calling Joe and my other aunt and calling my friend to pick up Mia. I remember talking to my mom and I remember talking to my step brother. I remember the silence of that night after everyone else was sleeping. I remember picking up my Bible and reading about mourning and loss.

There will always be an emptiness and a loneliness without my Dad. Sometimes, like tonight, it creeps right up to my throat and it just stays there. I loved my Dad. I loved him so much- sometimes I thought maybe I loved him too much because it hurt like heck when we fought. But I don't think you can love someone too much (in a healthy way, obviously). I hope that my heart is always tender to his memory and that I can always remember these moments because even though they are painful, they are real and they remind me that even in rough times, love never fails.

Today at church, our pastor talked about belief beyond today and how important it is to live not for this moment but for eternity. Someday, I will get to go to heaven and my heart is overjoyed at the thought of having 2 Fathers to visit.

To be young again

Ok, so I know that I am not "old" or anything but tonight I was looking around at some of peep's MySpace pages and Facebook pages and I remember being fresh out of high school... confused, the world in front of me, not really knowing what was coming next.
Now, I am 32, responsible (for the most part) and I am very happy- I just wonder what if I would have done more. I should have made some different decisions and possibly taken advantage of more opportunities.

I don't regret anything, really, I don't. I just wonder. I just think about the days of being more worried about gas money than rent money. Caring more about my hair than my kids hair! LOL

I know I am becoming a little more... uh um... mature, when I roll my eyes at the sound of some thumpin' bass rolling through the neighborhood. 15 years ago, my heart would have skipped a beat or two at the thought of who was coming. And, let me just say, in another 5 years, they had better not be coming to my house to see my daughter. LOL

So funny how these thoughts pop into my mind. I called my mom tonight at she was out shopping. It was 9 o'clock! I laughed and told my step-sister that she is too old to be out that late! :) I guess I will be okay so long as I can laugh and hey, I am growing old gracefully, wouldn't you agree?

Took this in the mirror... What!? Photoshop actions... me? never. ;)

Fading.

I am so disheartened that I don't post here as often as I should. I guess with Twitter & Facebook, I've sorta put this old thing on the back burner. I have so many memories logged here- it just feels wrong to think of ending it... heavy sigh. 

I do have some layouts to share! That is always a positive.

First, from Shabby Miss Jenn's School Time kit

And second, from Gina Cabrera's kit, Let Them Eat Cake

 

What else is happening around here?

We're gearing up for school to start in a couple weeks. We still have some school shopping to do but I think we'll take one of our last Friday's off to get that all taken care of. 

Our washing machine broke...bummer, eh? I've got to get that taken care of soon because trips to the laundromat will become a pain in a short time! 

I went back through some of my to-do lists since January and now I have one list of things that I didn't get done that I need to work on. For example, I'd really like to get all my recipes typed in and maybe even in a format that I could print them for people if I need to. Not that I am any genius, but my sisters would like some of them, I am sure. And, that reminds me...need to call my Grandma and get her Banana Pudding recipe! Yum! :) I also really need to do some reworking on the slideshow that I made of my Dad. I found some more pics on negatives. I'd like to have one complete version.

I found this article that I think has some great info. on organizing memorabilia, photos and keepsakes. It was helpful and I've started brainstorming what I'd like to do with all of Mia's stuff. It talks a lot about Lilian Vernon stuff but the basic info. was worth it.

I took a deep breath and sent out some photo permission letters to the people/families I've taken photos for. I won't post without permission so I am looking forward to starting a little online "portfolio" of my favorite work. :) 

Other than that, we're just working, playing, laughing and sometimes arguing! :)

Life is good.